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I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

The Perfect Book for the Perfectly Imperfect

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Today’s the big day – the day that Jen Mann’s anthology, I Just Want to Be Perfect, is officially released.  It is the absolute perfect book for summer reading

I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

The book is full of 37 stories of women trying to be perfect and failing in spectacular ways.  By some stroke of luck, my story is one of them!

I’m not saying ‘stroke of luck’ in an awwww shucks, it’s just a stroke of luck that my little ol’ story got chosen, I mean that I’m legitimately lucky Jen even saw my story because I completely missed her email asking me to submit a story for consideration…..for over a month…..until the night the story was due.

To demonstrate just how close it was, here’s a Facebook update she posted the night of the deadline.

I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute
Right there at the bottom of the comment string is my slightly passive aggressive, but still not giving up hope for future books note of, “It’s my goal in life to have a Jen Mann deadline someday!”

I posted the response, not thinking too much of it and going on with my evening of ignoring my children while checking social media until I received the following Facebook Instant Message.

I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

Sure enough, there was the email, hiding in the Spam folder of the Dusty Parachute email.

I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

Sent February 19th.

It was now March 28th.

It was time to start writing, and writing FAST!

Fortunately, I had much of the story already written in my head as this traumatic event took place in front of my kids’ school and I re-live it every single day as I walk my son into school for morning assembly.

I need you all to go buy the book so I can tell you more of the behind the scenes details.

In the meantime, I’m just going to post some photos to accompany the piece without much explanation so I don’t spoil the surprise. Once you read the story, you’ll totally understand what they mean.

I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

Not just “Lima Beans”…….TINY Lima Beans.



I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

You haven’t seen an ant pile until you’ve seen a Texas sized ant pile….full of fire ants.



I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

Our Beautification Team makes volunteering a competitive sport.


I Just Want to Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute

Skid Marks. I can’t say any more. Just go buy the darn book!


This is truly a special, full circle day for me being included in this book.  When I first started my blogging journey, almost two years ago, the very first thing I did was check out, I Just Want to Pee Alone, from the library.  (Sorry Jen, I have since bought a paid-for copy.) I read all the stories and immediately went and followed each of the writers on Facebook and Twitter in hopes of maybe one day having one of them say hi to me, or (dream of dreams) have one of them read one of my blog posts.

To have my story snuggled in between those of many of those same writers, who I now consider friends, is such a joy.

I hope you’ll take a moment to do what I did, and click through the list of links below to check out their blogs and follow them on their social media accounts. They have added so much laughter to my life and I know you’ll love them as much as I do.

But first, go buy this book!

If you’re in the Austin area, I will deliver autographed copies, just post a quick note in the comments here and I’ll get in touch with you to arrange delivery.

Here are all the hilarious contributors.

Jen Mann – People I Want to Punch in the Throat / I Just Want to Pee Alone

Bethany Kriger Thies – Bad Parenting Moments

Deva Nicole Dalporto – MyLifeSuckers

Julianna Wesby Miner – Rants From Mommyland  

LOLA LOLITA  – SammichesPsychMeds / MockMom

Kim Bongiorno – Let Me Start By Saying

Alyson Herzig – The Shitastrophy

Kathryn Leehane – Foxy Wine Pocket

Harmony Hobbs – Modern Mommy Madness

Erin Dwyer Dymowski – Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Tara Wood – Love Morning Wood

Kelcey Kintner – The Mama Bird Diaries

Lisa René LeClair – Sassypiehole

Joelle Wisler – Joelle Wisler, Writer

Christine McDevitt Burke – Keeper of The Fruit Loops

Meredith Spidel – The Mom of the Year

Meredith Gordon – Bad Sandy

Nicole Leigh Shaw –

Allison Hart – Motherhood, WTF?

Jennifer Lizza – Outsmarted Mommy

Suzanne Fleet – Toulouse and Tonic

AK Turner – Vagabonding with Kids

Robyn Welling – Hollow Tree Ventures

Ashley Fuchs – The Malleable Mom

Kim Forde – The Fordeville Diaries

E.R. Catalano – Zoe vs. the Universe

Chrissy Woj – Quirky Chrissy

Stacey Gill – One Funny Motha

Wendi Aarons –

Jen Simon –

Janel Mills – 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.

Jessica Azar – Herd Management

Susanne Kerns –The Dusty Parachute

Audrey Hayworth – Sass Mouth

Hedia Anvar – Gunmetal Geisha

Christine Organ –

Shya Gibbons – ShyaGibbons


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The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns
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3 thoughts to “The Perfect Book for the Perfectly Imperfect”

    1. The other two anthologies that I’m in I learned about through Susan M’s Beyond Your Blog website. She is amazing and has a wealth of information about all upcoming anthologies accepting submissions. And a belated congrats on your Best Miami Blog award – that is amazing!

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