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Category: Humor

Why Bloggers Don't Write - The Dusty Parachute

Why Bloggers Don’t Write

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 4 Comments

This year I went two writing conferences: The Erma Bombeck Writer’s Conference and Blog U. The number one topic of conversation among bloggers at both conferences was about how long it has been since any of us had written anything. Writing-withdrawl is also a main topic in our secret blogger Facebook groups and even with friends in my local writing group.

We’re all overflowing with ideas and love to write, but unfortunately, in blogger-land, writing is not enough.

I did this chart last year for Blog U, and although it’s meant to be a joke, it’s sadly quite accurate.
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My First NaNoWriMo Novel - The Dusty Parachute

My Doggy Style Love Story

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 1 Comment

I am setting forth on a new adventure and working on putting together a book proposal. Technically this would be my first solo book, although I have been honored to be part of several humor and parenting anthologies.

When putting together my portfolio for prospective agents, I will be highlighting several of my published pieces. But really, I think all anyone needs to see is this unpublished treasure that my mom recently discovered while cleaning out her garage. Don’t be surprised if you someday see this 1980 classic, “The Dogs that Never Stoped Loveing,” in the Smithsonian….(or back in the bottom of a box in the attic.)
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Why My Listen to Your Mother Performance Included a Parental Warning

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns Leave a comment

Immediately after my Listen to Your Mother performance in May, our amazing photographer, Casey Chapman Ross, gave me a little nudge and said, “just wait until you see the shot I got.”

It was this one. And it perfectly captured the essence of my LTYM Performance.

Listen To Your Mother Austin - How to Receive A Parental Warning for Your LTYM Performance
I’m saying exactly what you think I’m saying.  Photo by Casey Chapman Ross

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HEB Buddy Buck

13 Steps of Playing the HEB Buddy Buck Machine

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 13 Comments

For those of you who don’t live in Texas, let me take a moment to explain HEB & the HEB Buddy Buck machine.

HEB is the big grocery chain here. It’s pronounced by saying the actual letters, H–E–B. It is not pronounced Heb, like Jeb, and more importantly, it’s not pronounced Hebe, like the ethnic slur. HEB stands for Howard Edward Butt, (cue giggling children.)
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How to "Fix" an Injured Butterfly in 10 Easy Steps

How to “Fix” an Injured Butterfly in 10 Easy Steps

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 18 Comments

It’s that time of year again! The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming and the leaves are back on the trees. Ahhhh Spring has sprung! Perhaps my favorite part of spring is welcoming the wide assortment of butterflies that come to visit us in our back yard to snack on one of the Crepe Myrtles or get a drink from the birdbath.

Sadly, from time to time we encounter a butterfly that has been injured. I like to think the injury was a result of some type of West Side Story butterfly street fight but more likely it was just due to the excessive enthusiasm of a two year old with a net and bad aim. There’s not much sadder than the sight of a beautiful butterfly grounded due to a torn wing.
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The World's Best Sugar Cookie - TheDustyParachute.com

The Best Sugar Cookie Recipe EVER

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 15 Comments

I have exciting news for you all – After 42 years on this planet, I have finally achieved my goal in life!

I know what you’re saying to yourself.  “Wow, I wish I could achieve my goal in life, maybe I should work harder!”  Maybe you should.  Because then you could be like me, 42 years old without a single care in the world, living the rest of my life free and easy because I’m no longer burdened by my life long goal of finding the perfect sugar cookie recipe.
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