As a mother, there are plenty of thing to keep you up at night worrying: Are the kids getting good grades? Do they ever get bullied? Do I push them too much? (Or not push them enough and they’ll end up living in my house forever?)
But the thing that worries me most is knowing that even if you do everything right and have a really good kid, there will come a day when they surprise you by making a stupid decision that you never saw coming.
At least that’s what I did to my mom.
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As the mothers of newborns we do some pretty strange things to keep our babies healthy & comfortable:
Would you use your teeth to trim your baby’s fingernails? Anything for my baby!
Would you squirt your breast milk into your baby’s eye at the first sign of conjunctivitis? You’d be crazy not to!
Would you suck snot out of your baby’s nose with a plastic hose? Of cour…..Wait a minute…..you want me to do what?
My name is Susanne, and I sucked my baby’s snot…..and you should too!
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This week I have made some good progress in distributing five of the remaining ten thank you cards that my daughter wrote for her birthday gifts….in July….2014…..almost 10 months ago.
I wish I could blame my daughter, but I can’t. See, we made this great rule for her birthday this year: She couldn’t open her next present until she had written a Thank You card for the last one she opened. She was done with her cards the day of her party, yet, as of April 2015, over half of them still remain undelivered (even to friends who live two doors down and that we see almost every day.)
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A couple of weeks ago I received the exciting news that one of my stories was selected to be included in the upcoming anthology, Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! which is being published in June by Shannon Day (Martinis & Motherhood) and Tara Wilson (Don’t Lick the Deck) of Tipsy Squirrel Press.
I’m so excited and honored to have my story included along with 35 other talented authors sharing their stories of the Wonder, Woe & WTF moments of motherhood (and of course, martini recipes.) Read more about the book here.
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May 19 – Day #102. TWO MONTHS SINCE LAST UPDATE, YET NOT MUCH TO UPDATE
Here’s a brief recap of how the past couple of months have gone.
Text from contractor: “When will we be receiving final payment?”
Text from me: “Whenever you finish the work.”
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MARCH 26 – I’M A KNOB SNOB
I buy cheap wine, most of my kids’ toys (and clothes) are purchased off of our neighborhood Facebook Garage Sale page and I usually go with ‘cost efficient’ over ‘luxury’.
So why would I spend my whole morning driving the equivalent of a trip to San Antonio to spend 3x as much money for cabinet knobs at Restoration Hardware (a store I usually avoid at all costs) instead of my beloved Lowes?
Because I’m a knob snob.
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I like to think that I’m a ‘glass half full’ kind of girl and typically focus on the good in life. But at least once a day I encounter a product that is so poorly designed that I want to take it out to a field and destroy it “Office Space” style.
I’m sure you’ve been there too. You know, the blow dryer that has a button that turns it off when you were just trying to turn up the heat? Or the shower knob at the hotel that takes two intelligent adults at least three tries each to figure out how to turn it on?
Is it you? Are you crazy?
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MARCH 13 – HAVE ENTERED THE ‘YEAH, WHATEVER’ STAGE
If the painters texted to ask me 6 weeks ago what color I wanted for the bathroom I would have gone through my regular 20 step process for choosing the perfect paint color:
I often get asked why I don’t post picture of my kids in my blog posts or on social media for The Dusty Parachute.
It’s hard not to. They are both adorable and do insanely cute and crazy things about 10 time each hour. So why not share this cuteness with the world?
There are several reasons, but the biggest reason is that about two years ago, when my daughter was 7, she walked up behind me as I was posting a picture of her on Facebook and asked “Why is that picture of me on the computer? Shouldn’t I get to decide what happens to my pictures?”
I was floored. She was right.
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The other day I was at a restaurant with my kids and couldn’t help but overhear some moms at the next table carrying on about a friend (who was not present) who had apparently made some pretty interesting decisions in her life recently.
All of the friends were wide eyed, on the edge of their seats waiting for the next juicy detail. You know who else was listening to every word of her thorough news report (besides me)? The woman’s six year old daughter who was waiting for her to shut up for one second to she could get an escort to the bathroom.
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