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Category: Home & DIY

My Sh*tty Morning

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 9 Comments

Our sh*tty morning technically started yesterday when we discovered a weird wet spot in the middle of the carpet in our walk in closet. My brain went straight into denial, trying to convince myself that there’s a perfectly good reason that there would be a 5″ wet circle in the middle of the closet. My automatic assumption was that it was cat related (click here for a detailed account of our cat pee issues.) So I gave it a good spritzing of Nature’s Miracle, toweled it up and went on with my day.
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The Pumpkin Text Fail - TheDustyParachute.com

My Pumpkin Text Fail

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 5 Comments

By now, most of you are familiar with the crazy baby-care instructions that I left my poor (forgiving) in-laws the first time they came to care for our (then) 1 year old daughter.  That post outlined what I imagine was going through their heads as they read my insanely detailed (6 page) note.

This post once again involves my in-laws, but mostly involves me and some poor, confused shop owner in Weatherford, Texas. It outlines what I know was going through my head as I had a lengthy (about 2 hour) text conversation with someone I thought was my father-in-law.
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My New Geriatric Pet-Proofing Service

The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns 10 Comments

After months of deliberation, I think I have finally uncovered my perfect new career – an intersection of my natural gifts, MacGyver ingenuity and my true passion: Geriatric Pet-Proofing.

It’s like one of those baby-proofing services, except instead of protecting babies who poo and pee all over themselves and fall down the stairs, it will protect your senior-citizen pets who also poo and pee all over themselves and fall down the stairs.

Just a few of my services will include:

C.C.C. (TM) – Cat-litter Coat Closet

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