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Top 14 Reasons Preschool Boys are Like Drunk Old Men

When my daughter (now nine) was around four or five years old, every once in a while she would enter a special kind of state of mind that we fondly referred to as “drunk college roommate.”

99% of the time “drunk college roommate” showed up at bedtime, primarily when it was time to put pajamas on. It would start innocently enough with her telling a little silly joke and then proceeding to laugh so hard that she could fall down, in various stages of pajama undress. Then she would attempt to stand up and steady herself and get all serious, stare deep into my eyes and while patting down both sides of my hair with her tiny hands say things like, “Momma…you’re sooooo pretty.” (All of this, of course, with only one leg of her pajamas on.)

Aside from not having to hold her hair back while puking from drinking too much Coors Lights, it was a pretty dead on “drunk college roommate.”

As she has gotten older, she has gained control over her dramatic emotional swings (as well as her ability to put on her own pajamas) and I’ve come to miss these occasional visits from the “drunk college roommate.”

Fortunately, I still have her 5 year old brother around for my pajama time entertainment. There are still the silly little jokes, but now instead of deep-gaze proclamations of love, the floor-rolling giggles are punctuated with various forms of flatulence. His version also involves significantly higher levels of exhibitionist tendencies and the only deep eye contact he makes is with whatever Lego set he is trying to complete with the power of his mind from across the room.

These days, instead of hanging out with a “drunk college roommate,” I’m sharing a home with a “drunk old man.”

And bedtime is not the only time preschool boys turn into “drunk old men.”  Here’s a whole list of the top 14 things that they have in common.

Top 14 Reasons Preschool Boys are Like Drunk Old Men

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Once upon a time, Susanne Kerns was a Senior Account Director at an advertising agency working for two of the top brands in the world. Nine years ago she traded in her corporate life for a life as a stay at home mom, raising two of the best kids in the world. She started her blog, The Dusty Parachute as a way to dust off her online advertising skills to begin her job search. Instead, she now uses it as a way to spend a lot of time on the computer so her kids think that mommy has a job.

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The Dusty Parachute by Susanne Kerns
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11 thoughts to “Top 14 Reasons Preschool Boys are Like Drunk Old Men”

  1. OMG! This is so true, I never thought of it this way but now every time my son starts a story remember that one time… I’m going to think of this.

  2. I felt right at home when you talked about your daughter, as my 4 year old is truly like my drunk college roommate at bedtime. I don’t have boys though myself, but figure you are probably dead on about boys at this age, too! 😉

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